Mission Impossible: Motherhood in Japan

Mothering in current Japan is almost a kind of Mission Impossible. I explain why.

For many children in metropolitan areas in Japan, their fathers live only in their dreams at least on weekdays. The fathers leave home way before the kids wake up and come home way after the kids go to bed. Quite a few fathers even live separately from the rest of their family without any relationship problems - just for the jobs. The kids do not have any better chances in weekends. The fathers are often too exhausted to play with them and probably worse - our for work.

Then who take care of the children and all the chores? Mostly mothers take on that challenge solely. Also they need to do them perfectly. Mothers in Japan expected to make sure their children score high academic achievements, behave orderly and intellectually as little adults, have some cultural flair and enjoy nutritious homemade dishes. Legendary quality standards of Japanese products are also applied here.

In current economic circumstance Japanese mothers also need to earn some money by doing part time retail/service jobs on meagre pays. For those who have decent jobs are not so lucky, either. These jobs come with prolonged working hours just like the fathers. Making matters worse, child care facilities are scarce and very expensive in Japan. Very expensive not only in actual cost but also in mental cost - especially the strong brief that the mother should take care of her own children in any circumstances for well-being of them.

The contribution of the fathers in child rearing and houseworks is virtually nothing but none in Japan and it is apparent in many statistics. So rare as now it has been promoted with a special term "Iku-men" which means "(child) rearing men." Typical Japanese husband often expect their wives to act as their mothers for taking care of them. Some call such husbands as honorary eldest sons. Apparently, they are far from "Iku-men."

The consequences? Less and less children. It's now obvious that Japan will keep shrinking with huge elderly population heavily weighing on top. The fear for radioactivity still leaking from damaged nuclear reactors is on top of it. Still some politicians blame the mothers for not "producing" enough children. It looks like "the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your action."

I just hope not, that this "tape" will self-destruct in five decades…

Ray

Communication by heart to heart

Recently I had been tweeting in Japanese sphere about English language education/training in Japan.

Many of Japanese think themselves poor communicators in English even they usually learn the language at least 6 years.

Critics often point their fingers to defects in the curriculum in English language education in Japanese schools: too much emphasis on grammar, lack of verbal conversation practices with native speakers, ages-old example sentences and so on.

However a tweet I saw the other day really sank in my mind: "Many Japanese blame English education in schools for their poor English but such passivity to expect others to sort their problems is one of the reason for their failure in English language."

Wishful thinking is part of Japanese way of life. Communication by heart to heart is regarded as the ultimate form of communication. If you grow up as a Japanese adult, you are expected to be a kind of ESP, Jedi or Ninja in western sense. You should read others' mind and act accordingly. Otherwise you might be blamed for 'not reading atmosphere. ' So if you see a Japanese who is forced to communicate in English is strangely smiling to you, you should know you are expected to read his/her mind and offer help.

Most of Japanese have few chances to become acquaintance with people from foreign cultures. They live in a very mono-culturistic environment. They have virtually no chances to be challenged their own cultural norms or required to explain them. I think that is the primary reason why many of Japanese are not confident in speaking in English. They are actually not accustomed to communicate between different cultures.

Ray

Japanese sphere and English sphere

I often refer the two worlds I belong to in terms of communication languages as Japanese sphere and English sphere. They are "spheres" as now the communication in both language are truly global. Actually, not only English, but also Japanese is one of the dominant languages on the net especially when speakers' populations are taken into accout.

Until now, English has been "a trade tool" for me and I have not been caring too much about my personality in English spare beyond my business requirements. I have tested water here but it was more like intellectual expedition.

However, recently I am feeling that I am losing "contexts" as an ordinal Japanese speaker day by day. Marooned in the ocean of Japanese sphere and sharing no realities other than the language with other Japanese. For me, English sphere is becoming more and more real. Things are quite different here and in Japan. Although Japanese sphere is still significant as my background and nature but it is now virtual rather than real.

So now I have urge to build my online identity in English sphere as strong as mine in Japanese sphere. It is a challenge I love to take on. To begin with I would update this blog daily to keep track on how I am doing myself.

Ray

Equality between men and women makes the rugby team stronger?

This week, the article on CNN.com, "Which country has the smallest gender gap?" was introduced in its Japanese site CNN.co.jp and invoked some discussions.

While New Zealand enjoys the 5th place among the Scandinavian countries dominating the top group, it is a shame that Japan is stuck at the 94th place near the bottom along with Muslim-majority countries in the Middle East and North Africa.

As New Zealand is in the final count down to the Rugby World Cup 2011, let's look at how those teams compete in this regard:

Rankings of Equality between men and women in The Global Gender Gap Report 2010 for the RWC 2011 Teams:

1 New Zealand 5

2 Ireland 6

3 South Africa 12

4 England/Scotland/Wales 15 (as United Kingdom)

7 USA 19

8 Canada 20

9 Australia 23

10 Namibia 25

11 Argentine 29

12 Russia 45

13 France 46

14 Romania 67

15 Italy 74

16 Georgia 88

17 Japan 94

18 Fiji 108

-- Samoa (no data)

-- Tonga (no data)

It looks like that the greater a country has equality between men and women, the stronger its rugby team is.

Ray Murakami

Urge to follow the one and only right path

It may sound like a samurai or a ninja or even a Jedi from the Star Wars, many people from Japan have urge to discover the one and only right path and stick to it from the beginning to the end.

Personally I found it very difficult to shake off this tendency. I often seek "what I should do" or even "how it should be" rather than "what or how I want to do".

It may be a clue to the resilience of Japanese people when they are struck by a disaster like the one currently unfolding in the country. They won't be opportunistic to the situation but would keep themselves in order. Actually we would be far more comfortable sitting in order than acting on self interests.

However by clinging to the way initially seemed to be the right one, there is always a risk to miss the true optimal path which may arise later as an option.

So I would stick to focusing on what I want to do and keeping an open eye to better alternatives as the one and only right path :)

Ray Murakami

The child of the ocean

Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.

I love the sound of Te Reo Maori. I fell in love with it when I heard it for the first time. Some of you may know my mother tongue, Japanese sounds quite similar to Maori language. When Maori people welcome their guests they say "Haere Mai". Although sounds a bit antique and authoritative today, we actually say "Hairi Tamae" in place of "Haere Mai" for "Please come in."

There are many other similarities between the indigenous culture of New Zealand and Japanese culture. That naturally leads me to recognise my own roots as a descendant of the maritime worriers that ruled the Inland Sea of Japan several hundreds years ago. My family name Murakami is like an Iwi for Maori people connects me to my maritime ancestors.

They were great pilots and navigators of the sea. They mastered all the currents, tides and reefs in these important but perilous marine transportation routes. Without their instructions and protections provided in exchange for mandatory tolls, any ships would be destroyed either by the local natural hazards or by the weapons of the rulers.

After land-based Shoguns unified and ruled Japan, this maritime tradition declined until recently. Just like Maori culture, since late 20th century it has been seeing revival. Museums were built and cultural events are now held regularly.

When I look around the two harbours of Auckland from the summit of One Tree Hill, it reminds me of the scenery of the Inland Sea of Japan where my ancestors dominated with their versions of Waka, battle canoes.

To conclude, I would like to sing a song, which represents my emotions toward these wonderful connections very well. It is a folk song very popular in Japan. Of course the original lyrics is in Japanese so I tried my best to translate it into English to make sense to you all.

The title is "I'm a child of the ocean".

I'm a child of the ocean my old home was on the shore

Where the curling white waves constantly roar

The humble little hut which the pine trees shroud

With the kitchen vent trailing a long white cloud

You see? Long white cloud. Yes, Aotearoa is now my home.

No reira, tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.

(from my first speech "The Ice Breaker" at a Toastmasters club)

Thank you my friends and my heart goes out to Christchurch

On Friday 18 February, my MacBook suddenly stopped to respond to my input. Rebooting it did not make any better. Just blank milky gray screen was there. As it turned out later its internal hard disk drive was gone.

I immediately brought it to MagnumMac New Market, the official Apple retailer conveniently on my way home from the University of Auckland Business School where the conference I attended had been held.

So I forced to be less active in cyberspace (yes, I have been VERY active in else where on the net ;) in the following week but it caused me a tidal sequence on Tuesday 22 February when the earthquake hit Christchurch again this time with devastating damages.

My friends back in Japan soon noticed I had been very quiet since I made few activities in the morning, as they little knew about, with iPod touch on home wireless LAN. (I used a USB modem with MacBook to access Japanese contents on the internet in daytime.) When I accessed the net again with iPod touch at home after the day's work, my blog, email and Twitter were all full of the messages concerning my safety. I thanked my friends very much and felt sympathy to those who concerning the people actually suffered.

I set up an information portal for Christchurch earthquake in Japanese and replied back to my friends. I started to answer questions and correct wrong impressions about the activities in Christchurch referring to reliable sources. When finally my MacBook had been repaired and I had restored its contents, the early confusion of information had been settled. So I was not well prepared in terms of the internet accessibility when it was the most needed.

Last Friday, I joined the Red and Black Day to support Christchurch by wearing a red polo shirt and black jeans. I purchased a mobile WiFi station for better access to the net in case any of my information devices broke down. My heart goes out to Christchurch and I hope that the information technology helps the people to get back on their own feet in some ways.