Mission Impossible: Motherhood in Japan

Mothering in current Japan is almost a kind of Mission Impossible. I explain why.

For many children in metropolitan areas in Japan, their fathers live only in their dreams at least on weekdays. The fathers leave home way before the kids wake up and come home way after the kids go to bed. Quite a few fathers even live separately from the rest of their family without any relationship problems - just for the jobs. The kids do not have any better chances in weekends. The fathers are often too exhausted to play with them and probably worse - our for work.

Then who take care of the children and all the chores? Mostly mothers take on that challenge solely. Also they need to do them perfectly. Mothers in Japan expected to make sure their children score high academic achievements, behave orderly and intellectually as little adults, have some cultural flair and enjoy nutritious homemade dishes. Legendary quality standards of Japanese products are also applied here.

In current economic circumstance Japanese mothers also need to earn some money by doing part time retail/service jobs on meagre pays. For those who have decent jobs are not so lucky, either. These jobs come with prolonged working hours just like the fathers. Making matters worse, child care facilities are scarce and very expensive in Japan. Very expensive not only in actual cost but also in mental cost - especially the strong brief that the mother should take care of her own children in any circumstances for well-being of them.

The contribution of the fathers in child rearing and houseworks is virtually nothing but none in Japan and it is apparent in many statistics. So rare as now it has been promoted with a special term "Iku-men" which means "(child) rearing men." Typical Japanese husband often expect their wives to act as their mothers for taking care of them. Some call such husbands as honorary eldest sons. Apparently, they are far from "Iku-men."

The consequences? Less and less children. It's now obvious that Japan will keep shrinking with huge elderly population heavily weighing on top. The fear for radioactivity still leaking from damaged nuclear reactors is on top of it. Still some politicians blame the mothers for not "producing" enough children. It looks like "the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your action."

I just hope not, that this "tape" will self-destruct in five decades…

Ray